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Monday, December 21, 2015

Kamen Rider Taisen GP Review


Last year I review Kamen Rider Taisen and to sum it up short I consider it to be the absolute worst thing period and was just a giant shit in the grave of the great Shotaro Ishinomori's legacy with things like pointless retcons, making all the Showa rider assholes, and the worst crime of them all saying your love ones death do not matter. So yah just about anything would be better then what happen last year (I’m already saying this this movie sucked but it is defiantly better than last year’s movie) and if you like it well then you’re dead to me, I know that sound like a dick thing to do but sorry that movie is just god awful. So for this year’s movie instead of doing this awesome idea of a lot of deceive Toku shows teaming up they instead had Kamen Rider Sangou who people who barely know about and or probably cared about because most people really don’t care for the Showa era except for hard core fans of Kamen Rider as a whole. Time for some back story now you see Kamen Rider 3 excited in a 5 page manga called Kamen Rider 3 vs. General Black where in that manga a human is modified by Ghost Shocker to defeat Kamen Rider Ichigo and Nigo but escapes and then meet up with both Ichigo and Nigo and fight tougher and this was going to be in the show but was scraped and gave birth to Kamen Rider V3. Now the reaction of people for this is they say this is the best Taisen film and people say this is the worst Taisen (Didn’t you see the shit that happen in the last movie) and also this bombed in Japan where people did not like it and as I am writing this review 12-17-15 there are no new plains for a new Taisen movie planed any time soon but then again it could just be like FNAF and they could announce the next Taisen movie the very next day.


The movie begins in a junk yard and a TV replaying the last episode of the original Kamen Rider series and them defeating the great leader *SPOILER ALERT* and them ridding their bikes as the original show ends but the story for this movie is just begging sadly I know. Both Ichigo and Nigo are ambushed by a car and the person driving that car Kamen Rider Sangou, I really like Kamen Rider Sangou design with taking design elements of Ichigo and Nigo but updating them and it just looks amazing… but if I had 1 complaint with the design it would be his shackles they are completely pointless and no he was not chained up or anything and it was not he was chained up if the first place in face he just comes straight the hell out of nowhere. Ichigo and Nigo put up a fight but fail and die AND BOOM not even at the 5 minute mark (like 4:48) and they done fucked up, like with no Ichigo and Nigo no V3 and he is in this movie (there are more problems like that but I would be here all day if I day and this is not the first time Let's go Kamen Rider was the first to do that (and I should maybe do that next year with it being the 45th anniversary of Kamen Rider and what not) and now shocker is in the control of the world and time has now been rewritten (I SO WISHED I REVIEWED FAM WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE TO REVIEW IT).



Cut to present day with Kamen Rider Drive kicking a Riomuid in the ass, Drive was a good show I mean it took forever for it to be good with the first 20 episodes being nothing but a waste of time but it did get awesome near the end but that is how all of Riku Sanjo shows go and I do say that Drive is the most Riku Sanjo show Riku Sanjo has ever Riku Sanjoed. When Drive finished beating up that Riomuid a green energy wave occurs (note that a shift bike went into drive holster before the wave hit’s note that for latter) and now making changing everything where now shocker rules the world and probably the biggest change is now Shinnosuke is one of the Shocker Riders. You see now that Shocker rules the world they have Shocker Riders to defeat any Riders not under Shocker’s rule, and this is a personal nitpick on why they didn’t do design updates to like upgrade the Shocker grunts design since we do forget they are just humans after all and also give their shocker Riders Shocker themed Rider designs like Kamen Rider Drive type shocker but again nick pick from me.



At a race track where a bunch of kids are Shocker troops in training led by General (black and how is here even though he's dead?) we then see Minami Kohtaro Aka Kamen Rider Black here to stop him.  Yes Tetsuo Kurata is back as black in this film and I should be really happy about this since Black while being my favorite Showa Rider and also first review on this blog (which none of you should read it's god awful I hate that review) well here the thing he does exactly jack are really is just here to make a cameo and that's all which is a very recurring thing in this film and this film alone. Snoski comes in and start at attacking Black and other monster when they stop entirely when Sangou comes in and we come to a problem with this film Snoski is shocked that shocker would go ahead and aim at the children but if this is a new time all tougher with him living in his time then he should really know this. They all stop fighting when Sangou comes in and creates a distraction by telling Drive to fallow him and just too then tell Snoski he’s not worth fighting JACK OFF! after that Black Dies and Drive's commander dies as well and GLAD TO FUCKING SEE THAT WHEN HE DIES THEY FEEL SAD FOR HIM AND FUCK YOU SO MUCH KAMEN RIDER TAISEN!



Otta (Snoski coworker) turns to a shocker monster and takes General Black takes Kikido and well she breaks away telling drive this world is wrong and need to fix this world and she dies (I would call out a women in refrigerators moment but she does not really die as we will see latter and also Snoski crying out Kikido name I know emotional but it sounds like he’s going through puberty). Sangou comes again to distracts the other monsters again and after getting away Sangou reviles his human form and face Kurio Kyouiciro (and major props for getting someone older then a pretty looking young face to be in this role) and Kurio says to Snoski that Ichigo and Nigo are alive but they souls are being kept in an electronic brain in Rider Tower and ... 0___o I know the Faqu but accepted because since. Riderman and V3 WOW is it me or is V3's suit really bright in this movie because it was not even in the original series? Sangou Henshin’s I also really love Sangou’s Henshin with the boosters, and also joined by Mach who I’m also sure enough design would be effected because no Kamen Rider Super 1 no base design for mace. The 3 run away into the woods when Kamen Rider J comes in and get them but then the other riders get away and also meet by Kamen Rider Zeronos aka Sakari Yuuto who and he just barely comes off from just a cameo into an actual main charter in this film, and tells Snoski this time is not right as well and then Snoski just leaves for some time in the movie with no adamant explanation.




Now the next 1/3 of the movie will be filler. I mean first we have Kamen Rider Garren reprise by Hironari Amano looks like he was in trouble but all of that was just a giant fool you so they could get the good riders and defeat them only to be defeated by Sangou who came out like the Kool aid man to save them (also they screw uped by having Garren gold helpmate instead of his reargue one). Next we have the Faiz cameo and does exactly jack as well (but it is more for his appearance in Yongou) sure you could say that he reviled that Sangou is a shocker Rider but that is showed the very next scene. Speaking of which in the morning when Zeronos getaway from the Shocker Riders Sangou reviles he has planned this from the start as well as the great leader to get the best Rider to defeat a. so let me get this straight he purposely attack his own troops and other rider and even thought their was a good chance they would have had died from either the none shocker riders or him since he had so much power in his punch just to gather them? You know I would use the Austin powers clip of over complicated plain… BUT I could not find it on YouTube so instead I will use the next best thing, god bless the SGB's. 



Snoski comes in as well and then challenges the great leader to a Grand Prix and he accepts it because he’s SMRT and in the morning the Grand Prix happens, I mean it is in the main tittle of this film so it is only natural that this would happen but it’s only 15 minutes long so yah. And it’s a pretty boring match as well with 99% of these guys are Shocker rider sit takes a bit of drama out add Gou (who will latter appears straight the hell out of know where in the final battle) and Yuuto instead of chaining him and Kiriko up. Speaking of coming straight the hell out of nowhere it happens to Chaser and Black Rx and that all, and Faiz as well and in the film both him in Accel and Kabuto Clock up are the same speed and their not to far off on that believe it or notSangou is an idiot and is attacking his own team mates on purpose and he says that he is doing this because he wants to be the very best like no one ever was but it really comes off as he is doing it because the writers want more action in the movie. When it looked like Drive is going to lose Deusexmachina like no Drive with Formula and the rider boosters and also on the subject GP had no toy tie in what so ever compare to all the other ones like none at all, and with that Sangou lost and Drive is the winner anti climatic as hell.



Believe it or not but that is not the end and this was also planned by the Great leader himself and then taking the strongest warrior or Sangou I mean he did lose after all he is now Kamen Rider Megazord called Rider Robo! And he starts erasing people with his time erasing machine and then Ichigo, Nigo, and Sangou break free because friendship and will power and other crap like that, and I admit they then start using the original Kamen Rider theme while they all fight so that alright by me which also makes the other Riders break free from their control and now free from the Shocker control. Gou comes back from somewhere and then dies, yah just dies and he is left dead when the end happ… nah he comes back in the Yongou movie which shale be explained there.



It still looks like the Riders are having trouble fighting off Rider Robo and then uuuuhhh the Ninninger come in and help. I know I said I hated ToQGer in last year’s review but as of Now Ninninger is currently the worst Sentai I’ve seen with just being dumb, annoying, nothing happeing and of course Takaharu, FUCK YOU TAKAHARU YOU’RE A CRAPPY RED AND ONE OF THE WORST THERE IS! BUT what gets me is that in this year’s crossover they obviously say that they are from another dimension and they went back to their own dimension at the end and yet they are here to make the status quote and with Drive getting a shrunken for some reason I don’t know how that happen they form Drive  Shurikenjin Tridoron. It’s eeeehhhhhhh I don’t feel strongly about the design 1 way or another it’s just I don’t care about it at all really and this was so made to be a toy but no toy of this was made so in that regard it crappy but whatever they defeat the great leader everything goes back to normal like none of this ever happened in the first place what so ever except for Gou is dead but not really because of Yongou movie and well more bull shit like that. 



Now if I can give this movie any good pros it would be the ending like I really love the end credits with the art looking like what Shotaro Ishinomori himself would draw and also “Who’s that Guy” I freaking love that son like top 5 Kamen Rider Insert song.

Overall
CAN WE PLEASE STOP THE TAISEN FRANCHISE I'M STARTING TO RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY AT THIS POINT!

I mean I'm being serious here I got pretty lazy writing this review and forcing myself to do this against my will and practically felt like i was locked in a room all day to write this. Sangou was ok I mean him killing Ichigo and Nigo and soura feeling regret from it was good, until the part came from he wanted to be the best at any cost got in the way then after that it was meh and shallow after that. So is this bad yes some 2nd thing is does this deairve the X Virus award no and that is only because none of these events ever happen in the first place. I mean this was not one of my best reviews got lazy and didn't feel like going back and well now um well just. Now I'm blanking out and just ending this review by saying this sucked no originality and the Yongou is much better  and you should all look at the pictures in the end credits and here "Who's That Guy" and come back next week for the Yongou review.

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